Forgive But Never Forget

 You know in life you'll meet a hundred, thousands of people and not everyone is going to be your friend. Not everyone is going to like you and some might even just be envious of who you are as a person. In a desi household, especially a joint family, there's going to be a lot of envy, a lot of backstabbing and lot of politics, designed to bring you down, if people don't like you. You'll be subjected to ridicule and your trust will be broken countless times. No matter what and who brings you down, you'll have to be the bigger person and let things go for your own peace of mind. But still, a sane desi woman is going to learn a lesson from everything around her.

Forgive! Forgive people for your own sake. Even if they do or don't apologize,  just forgive them to be at peace. But yes, once you forgive, never forget. Never forget how you were treated or ridiculed or called out. Never forget what people did to you. Welcome their apology but keep your boundaries. Nobody would love to fall in the same pit twice. So forgive but never forget. Remember it so that you be careful in the future. Remember it so that you don't repeat the same mistakes again. Remember it so that you know the signs and recognize the pattern if its repeated. 

There is a difference between not forgetting and holding a grudge. A grudge is usually held to extract revenge at a later date but when I say don't forget, I mean to not give things a chance to repeat. Save yourself because in a desi, joint household, its one for oneself only. A desi joint family is the biggest dysfunctional family system that can exist. On the forefront its a family living together pretending to be there for everyone through thick and thin. But when you take a deeper look inside, scratch the shiny layer, its all ugly below. There is nothing more toxic than a joint desi family where everyone fends for themselves. People pretend to be there for you when instead they'll not hesitate to bring you down or walk over you if its for their own gain. You'll be trampled upon countless times, your respect torn to shreds and then you'll be expected to behave normally or else you'll be the problematic one. So always,  forgive but never forget...