A desi household and especially men that hail from desi households are literally obsessed with second marriages. When they've got nothing else against their spouse, they'll crack the hideous second marriage joke and make sure their wives feel offended. Sometimes right in the middle of a gathering. Come on man how despicable could you get?!! Why are desi men like this? Why can't they just be happy with their wives? No matter whether you hold your brother, your father or even any rare gentleman that you've come across in your life, on a pedestal, at one point in their life or the other, they will make this pathetic joke in front of a large audience. Whether their intention is to show their wives down or not, they will crack this bad joke and then stroke their male egos. Gosh, I hate such men!!! In fact to be honest, ever since I got married into a desi household, I hate all desi men in general. They're a specie not designed for planet earth. There should have been a ...

 You know in life you'll meet a hundred, thousands of people and not everyone is going to be your friend. Not everyone is going to like you and some might even just be envious of who you are as a person. In a desi household, especially a joint family, there's going to be a lot of envy, a lot of backstabbing and lot of politics, designed to bring you down, if people don't like you. You'll be subjected to ridicule and your trust will be broken countless times. No matter what and who brings you down, you'll have to be the bigger person and let things go for your own peace of mind. But still, a sane desi woman is going to learn a lesson from everything around her. Forgive! Forgive people for your own sake. Even if they do or don't apologize,  just forgive them to be at peace. But yes, once you forgive, never forget. Never forget how you were treated or ridiculed or called out. Never forget what people did to you. Welcome their apology but keep your boundaries. Nobod...

 They're a family and you're an outsider and this is something you'll be made to feel again and again. They stand together through thick and thin, they have the ugliest arguments and yet they bounce back because they are a family. But you, you're an outsider because you weren't born into their family. You're not their blood. No matter how much your husband supports you or takes your side, he'll still be with his family, always.   But doesn't that make you wonder where you stand in that particular desi joint family? They'll ridicule you, bash you, call you pathetic names, even those that make you feel naked and yet your husband will sit with them, laugh with them and provide for them, as a good son and brother. He is responsible to do so but where will it leave you? Do you want to socialize with people who bash you with the ugliest of vocabulary that could exist? Do you want to be around people who call you out in a gathering only to ensure their supe...

 I don't write here for the sake of writing. Instead I write because it helps me vent out my feelings or else I'll go crazy. A desi, joint family is one such that tests your nerves and patience every single second of the day. And it usually doesn't have to be the mother in laws. In my case, I'm blessed to have a MIL who dotes on me but she is also helpless when it comes to her children and their attitudes.  I don't talk about others or give examples because my own life and its experiences are enough to convince me that people like this would definitely exist around the world and make life hell for others as well.  I was rather innocent. Having been brought up in a sheltered atmosphere, under my mother's hawk like eyes and her ever concerned persona. She was a single mother and she made sure she brought her children up where nobody would question her upbringing. School, college and then university, my life revolved around my mother and what she taught us. I know ...

As soon as you hit your 30s, everything in your life just starts to take a dip, that is if you're a married woman living in a joint family in a desi household. There's absolutely nothing to brighten up your day and you feel frustration building up inside everyday as soon as you get up. Monotonous routines, the same ugly arguments at home, some of which that make no sense, life generally starts to suck. Perhaps it is admist this chaos that you realize that you're losing time and you need time for self care as well, but then the realization of your desi household kicks in and you're back to square one.  Life gets even tougher if you have children. They wake up and whine and as much as you'd like to discipline your children, provide them with respectful parenting or do something constructive with them, there comes the same dialogues, "Humne tu yeh na kiya tha. Naye tareeqay se bachay paal rahay ho tum log. Ek lagao nahi suntay tu" and then there goes your par...